November is close at hand and that of course means teacher/parent conferences. For parents and teachers a like it is a time to discuss a child’s school experience. To make the best use of this time preparation can be the key since the amount of time is usually limited. Hopefully parents have already had some type of interaction with the teacher- Open House, phone call, or an e mail. If a teacher has a website or sends email or snail mail newsletters parents keep up with what is going on in the class. This will help with feeling more informed as the conference proceeds.
For parents of a middle schooler and/or high schooler most assignments are placed on line. This is to help keep parents informed as to the expectations for their students as well as keeping students on target.
The conference is a time to share concerns regarding a specific child. Time is usually very limited, usually around 20 minutes – 5 minutes more or less. Middle School and High School parents have even less time with each teacher. Maximize the time. Because the time is so compact a great idea is to make sure there are two people listening- if it can’t be Mom and Dad perhaps an Aunt, Uncle, or Grandparent should be included.
Parents of Middle and High School students (or when a student has multiple teachers) take a current picture of your child and just set it on the table as you introduce yourself. Different names can be confusing so ask your child how she/ he sign school papers. When two students in the class have the same first name be sure to identify which child you are talking about (Ask your child so you are prepared). If you last name is different than your child’s last name, hand each teacher a card with your name and your child’s name on the same card. If it applies, even add the scheduled period/time and subject your child sees that teacher. If your name is the same as your child’s, still be sure to have asked your child what period the child is with that teacher. It all saves those precious minutes for discussion of your child. Perhaps for all parents add to that card the best way to connect (e mail, cell phone, home phone) with you.
Your child is the main topic of conversation, before you walk into the conference talk about school /class with the child. Hopefully this has been an ongoing discussion but do sit down and ask the child to share with those attending the conference any questions or concerns regarding school. Perhaps ask the child about his/her goals and consider any goals and expectations you have for your child.
As the teacher starts talking about your child it may be a surprise that your child acts very differently at home than in the classroom. Remember teachers see your child in a different setting than the family and home. At home a child is with family and friends and at school children are interacting in a larger environment of their peers. There are different customs to follow in each of these situations.
Teachers want to hear your concerns as well as share what strengths they see. The teacher may have concerns and questions as well. This is a time to discuss the child that is in the class. Teachers find that with the time restraints it is best if everyone stays focused on the child the teacher is currently in the class. A teacher doesn’t have time to listen to stories about the entire family or former students. Save that for another time. To make the best use of that precious time- take a list of questions or thoughts you want to cover. That’s right – write it down and pull out that list when in the conference. The teacher will have some items written down to share and probably a sheet to hand you with academic assessments. As we all know there is more to school than academics. There are the social aspects, the class behavior, as well as strengths and weaknesses academically that may need to be addressed.
Don’t hesitate to take notes to help remember, especially suggestions for helping to be more successful. It is also a good reason to have that extra pair of ears. Remember this is a conference – more like a business meeting than a social call. Compliments as well as suggestions are not given idly and there is the need for active listening from all entities.
Teachers like the parents have the goal to help your child be successful. The teacher may have questions for you and will draw on different insights that you have concerning your student. The teacher is a highly trained professional with lots of experiences to draw from and can help a parent better support and help the child be successful. If the teacher uses terminology or you are unsure what he/she is saying ask for clarification. Like medical specialist there are some terms that are used so much in that field it is forgotten that that is not a generally known term.
When leaving the conference if the parent or the teacher may feel there is more to cover, set up another appointment as other parents are waiting a turn anxious to hear about their child. This could be to continue the current conversation or follow up in a month or two.
The next thing to do is review the notes taken, talk with the second person, and debrief with the student. Parent participation in conferences and follow ups give the message to the student that parents are interested and an education is important. This is a great time to help your child set goals and discuss your expectations. As we all know personal involvement of the student helps with ownership of learning. If suggestions were made by the teacher, take those suggestions seriously. It never hurts to call or e mail a follow up a month or so later.
Enjoy your child and the experience.
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