Bully Behavior

There is a lot of talk about Bullying these days. What is coming across the media airwaves are comments that schools need to stop Bullying. A reminder here- as we hear many times “it takes a village to raise a child”. That to me means parents, neighborhoods, media, idols, athletes, politicians-everybody.
Let’s be clear here, we are all teachers – not just the classroom educator; everyone becomes a model for our children. Bullying behaviors develop from observing others most often- that modeling is found all around a child. It could be picked up through family, media, neighborhoods, and business, peers, schools or most likely a combination.
To help students understand that bullying is wrong people need to be on the same page. So let’s make it a national priority and start by identifying/defining bullying. Currently there appears to be very different understandings about bullying. Let me state the obvious, as an adult I see it going on a lot in our world not just among children. The social networks have added to the realm of bullying with cyber bullying that we all know has been overwhelming for many teens.
This is a social issue everyone needs to be addressing. Bullies often do not see themselves as being in that roll. Many see themselves as “leaders” or “in charge”. The act of bullying often but briefly makes the participant feel better and unless physical that bully has no idea how hurtful he/she is being.
With children people often ignore the bullying and feel content with comments like “Not my child,” (read this one several ways- they all count), “He/she is young and doesn’t know what is he/she is doing,” “She/he is just teasing,” or “It’s just kids play and it toughens them up.” How often do we hear this? A useable definition to be able to help address issues around bullying may help reduce the amount of times we hear this.
There is the victim, the bully, and often times the by standers. Many of us have been in at least two of those roles on more than one occasion. The point is we all need to stop looking the other way and help children as well as teen and adult bullies understand what damage is being done to others and help the victims learn behaviors to shut down the bully behaviors.
We all know that real behavior change is difficult and takes time. So let’s all give it a name and definition, make some plans and start working on changing the behavior of bullies and victims and bystanders now.